Coming out in Indonesia

The first interviewee was Mary, we thought that she became homosexual because of her parents. she was born in a traditional family. When she was young, her parents prohibited her to chat with boys even studying. If they found Mary talked with boys or sat next to them, they would hit her angrily. That’s the reason why Mary used to associate with girls and didn't want to have a close relationship with boys. Gradually, she discovered her lesbian identity and came out to her family in Indonesia. "since you never allowed me to in contact with boys, so it seems there are no reasons for you to hinder me falling in love with girl “Mary talked to her parents. Luckily, her parents were attentive about that, even asked Mary to have a meeting with her girlfriend. Their experience has demonstrated not all Indonesian domestic workers came out in Hong Kong. This raised a question that whether migration to Hong Kong is a key factor for their transition of sexual orientation. 

 

         Jessie, our second interviewee, became a domestic helper in Hong Kong in 2002 and now she is 34 years old. In other words, she has been working here for 15 years. While many scholars thought that the Indonesian domestic workers only ‘come out’ in Hong Kong, Jessie’s case might be an exceptional one since she already had engaged in both heterosexual and homosexual relationship before she came to Hong Kong. The first time she engaged in lesbian relationship is in school. Jessie proudly mentioned that she never need to chase the girls because the girls would take the initiative to approach her. In the interview, she mentioned that ‘Her mom always said that she wants her second child to be boy, but it turns out to be girl. So maybe part of the ‘boy's soul is remained.’ It is indicating that she believes her sexual orientation is inborn rather than the life experiences or social circumstances. Although she mentioned that she had some kind of ‘boy soul’ left in her body, she clearly recognized that she is female when I asked about her gender identification. In the interview, Jessie mentioned many advantages of having relationship with a woman, ‘I have more experience in having relationship with female more than male. My lover takes the initiative to chase me in my first same-sex love. But before that she knew she liked woman more because she believed that she is more familiar to communicate with woman and they are able to exchange thought.’

 

 

Being a Women in Indonesia

          As a female in Indonesia, the social status is slightly lower than male. Jessie stated that ‘In Hong Kong, women can easily get want they want. Married women in Indonesia need to treat their husband well by doing housework. But in Hong Kong, though women also need to work, but the husband will help u to do the housework anyway. In Hong Kong, female is not only expected to do the housework and take care of the child only, female can also work. In Hong Kong, you can do whatever you want. ‘From the above, we could know that women in Indonesia do not only bear the role of caregiver. Instead, they are the bread maker in the same time. Jessie added that ‘And sometimes only the woman work, the man doesn’t go to work. They leave home at 9 and back home at 11. So I don’t really like it. I like happiness. And someone who could protect us. But if he doesn’t even work. Every day they go in the morning and back in the afternoon, staying at home but doing nothing? then how could they be the protector? ‘These kind of negative image on the male might somehow alters her gender in becoming more masculine.

 

 

Intimacy Experience in Hong Kong

        In Hong Kong, the cost of living is so high that a local people could hardly afford. For a domestic worker, it is even harder for them to spend their time as a local lesbian couple- shopping in the mall, dining in a pleasant restaurant or having a drinks in lesbian bar. So what are the alternatives? Jessie mentioned that they spent little money when they hang out, except on the meal. Sometimes they go to the mall too but they spend more time together by sitting on Victoria Park. Jessie shared that her girlfriend like learning with her, so they would study about the labor right and law in the park, as well as organize activity for their friends. When it comes to intimacy experience, Mary also share her experience to us. as we mentioned, she has sex with her girlfriend in Mong kok or Causeway Bay hotel once a month since it is cheaper (around $70 HKD/hours) and they can afford it. “I don’t care what do the other people think about it when i go to hotel with my girlfriend, if I feel happy about it, just go ahead, we just do normal thing like the other normal couple, what’s wrong in it?” Mary said. Also, comparing with Indonesia, Hong Kong is an open-minded place that they can have a dating every Sunday and have intimacy experience here.

 

 Mary has dated with her girl’s friend around two years and they got to know each other from the social movement which was about the salary of Indonesia helpers in Hong Kong. When it comes to their intimacy experience in Hong Kong, since the limitation of time and money, they also chat with other through WhatsApp in their daily life and only meet each other in every Sunday and have sex in Mongkok or Causeway Bay hotel once a month. For them, Hong Kong was good and it almost provided everything they wanted like freedom. That is why they would like to work in here for a long time

 

    What is more, the same sex relationship become more common in Indonesia nowadays. However, there are still some discrimination in this traditional society especially the Muslim. In their religion, the same sex relationship was not allowed and they could not get married. After that, there were some differences between Indonesia and Hong Kong about coming out. Undoubtedly, Hong Kong was more open-minded and acceptable on it since Hong Kong always encourage people to be themselves and break the rules instead of following it. "my employer all know that I am lesbian and they don't care about it and just tell me don't text to girls when I work for them’ Mary said.

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       what is more, the same sex relationship become more common in Indonesia nowadays. However, there are still some discrimination in this traditional society especially the Muslim. In their religion, the same sex relationship was not allowed and they could not get married. After that, there were some differences between Indonesia and Hong Kong about coming out. Undoubtedly, Hong Kong was more open-minded and acceptable on it since Hong Kong always encourage people to be themselves and break the rules instead of following it. "my employer all know that I am lesbian and they don't care about it and just tell me don't text to girls when I work for them" Mary said.

 

 Mary has dated with her girls friend around two years and they got to know each other from the social movement which was about the salary of Indonesia helpers in Hong Kong. When it comes to their intimacy experience in Hong Kong, since the limitation of time and money,they also chat with other through whatsapp in their daily life and only meet each other in every Sunday and have sex in Mongkok or Causeway Bay hotel once a month. For them, Hong Kong was good and it almost provided everything they wanted like freedom. That’s why they would like to work in here for a long time.